The #1 Self Esteem Lesson You Need to Know

I am so excited to meet you.  My passion is helping people succeed. I have discovered the secret to the documentary TheSecret.  For those who may not know of The Secret documentary it is about manifesting what we think. 

If we believe we will succeed we do. If we believe we will fail we will. The missing piece to The Secret is it doesn’t teach how to re train your brain so you think positively or at least think about what you want, not what you don’t want.

As a therapist it would be very naive of me to tell any of my clients to “Just stop,” That is what Bob Newhart said to his clients in the TV show in the 80’s.  What if you could end negative thinking?

My answer to The Secret is Emotional Freedom Techniques or EFT – ing/ neutralizing the negative emotions attached to our negative thoughts.  I have been using and teaching EFT since 1996,  It is the most effective tool I have found to change the brain and remove self sabotaging thoughts and beliefs. I always tell people 5% conscious mind, 95% sub or unconscious mind. If you have not gotten your subconscious mind onboard, nothing is happening. EFT is a direct communication process into your subconscious mind…

In this blog I will take you through how to increase your self confidence. You are not going to become an ego maniac. You will learn an evidenced based effective tool for taking your power back. 

Long ago I heard harsh words. “You are ugly.” “You are stupid.” “You are not applying yourself.” “You will not amount to anything.”  My orthodontist told me I was ugly. If I had the confidence then that I have now I would have spit in his face and told my mother to sue him.  Were you bullied in school like I was?  I hope not.

Even so, parents, teachers, dentists and fellow students coming from their place of woundedness can take our power away making us feel “less then” or convinced they are right. I heard those words and believed them for a very long time. My self esteem was based on other people’s opinions of me.

If someone told me I was stupid or ugly I believed them. I used to pull my hair out. This confirmed my belief that I was ugly. Someone very unhappy with themselves tried to feel better about themselves by making me feel bad.

I have learned to value myself. My confidence does not come from other people’s opinions of me it comes from my accomplishments, my values and my desire to help others. It took many years of climbing out of low self-esteem. One of the tools that has helped me is Emotional Freedom Techniques. I have and continue to EFT my unwanted thoughts  and emotions every day.

Take a critical thought and neutralize it by EFTing it.

The 2 reasons it is in your head is:

  1. You believe it and
  2. You give it power by feeling sad, scared, defeated or angry when you “hear it” in your head.

Take back your power and EFT it out.

By tapping on the side of the hand below the little finger and saying “Even though I feel _______________________ when my critical voice says _______________________, right here right now I am ok.  Say this 3 times while tapping the side of your hand and then tap 7 times  on each points in the photo with your fingertips while saying what your critical voice is telling you. As you become more relaxed your critical voice will weaken. 

This may seem like the strangest thing you have ever tried.  Tap on “Even thought this is totally weird and won’t work, right here right now I am safe.”  Think about this. I EFT everyday and now I am have the honor of meeting you.

My opportunity to contribute articles to Free eBooks’ newsletter came from EFTing everyday to remove self sabotaging behaviors and negative thoughts. When the opportunity arrived, I was ready to step into it with confidence and grace.

Discover how EFT can change your life with my course:

About Joan Kaylor

Joan has led many lives. She has been a shoe sales person, dental assistant and real estate property manager. Joan finally realized there was no money in working for others, she returned to graduate school and earned her degree in mental health counseling. She followed her passion in complimentary and alternative treatments and studied woo woo stuff like Emotional Freedom Techniques, Chakra balancing and Feng Shui.  Now Joan has a private practice and travels the world teaching and speaking both on line and in person.  Her podcasts of “Life Without Limits” and “Freedom From Fear – Just EFT it”  have thousands of subscribers with 5 star ratings in iTunes.

Contact Joan at

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